A Year without Blogging… the big reveal!

Rebuilding Myself: A Journey of Loss, Growth, and Hope

So this blog post might seem a little out of place, following my birthday post. I had originally intended to publish this first, but then my birthday came up and I ended up switching things around. I still wanted to share these thoughts however, because I feel that it gives a lot of context to explain the shifts in myself and also in my writing style. It explains the silence over the past year, and will definitely give more context to future posts. Having given more context, I thought I’d leave the text below as true to how it was originally written as possible…

Almost a year has passed since I published my last blog post and truth be told it feels awkward trying to pick up where I left off, like nothing has happened and everything is still the same. But apart from that, my blogging had also decreased significantly, before that post. I’ve been trying to come up with a million excuses to justify why I stopped writing. I do believe that stress and a very busy schedule did contribute to that, but I also think that the greatest challenge I faced was feeling that I was not being true to myself because there was a part of my life that I wasn’t comfortable sharing. So I’m here, once again putting a brave face on to come clean and spill the beans…

I’ve spoken a lot about certain losses I’ve experienced in recent years, my father and my grandparents in particular. But there are certain losses that I didn’t feel comfortable sharing publicly. I’m not sure whether it was shame or fear of being judged. Whatever it was, it just didn’t feel right, but at the same time, whatever I was writing made me feel like I was not being genuine. So here’s me dropping the bomb… Basically, the same year that my father died, I went through a marriage separation, which led to me losing a house, a dog and of course, a husband. This was back in 2021, so why am I sharing it now? Well, let’s just say, the months after my separation (and divorce), proved to be the most challenging and life-changing, I’ve experienced so far… and funnily enough, they had nothing to do with the separation or any of the other losses I experienced, that I’ve already talked/written about. Unfortunately, this is one chapter of my life that I still can’t share publicly, but I will say that there were 14 months of, what I call ‘torture’ that pretty much broke me, but actually gave me the opportunity to work on myself, and rebuild myself to what I hope is a better version of me – shall we say Rachel 2.0? (I think we’re actually probably at like version 1565 or something, but let’s go with 2.0.)

Again, I won’t get into detail of the ‘doom & gloom period’, not where the marriage and the end of it were concerned, or the months after. This is not a gossip page (especially not about my life), and I am definitely not here to whine and complain (I almost wrote wine for a second… goes to show where my mind is right now… there’s always room for a little vino, with a little reading and writing I guess 😉 ). The reason why I’m writing this is because I would love to restart this blog, ideally on a more regular basis, but the types of posts I share might be a little different. They might include things I’ve done and am still doing to constantly work on myself, but they might also include some anecdotes or experiences of a mid-to-erm-later thirties, single woman. The idea behind this? Well, there isn’t much to it really. On a personal level, it’s refinding my love for writing. And for my readers (the one or two of you who actually have the patience to read through the posts)? Maybe putting a smile on your face from one of my funny episodes, or a little reminder that we are not alone in facing certain challenging situations, and maybe at other times, a slight ray of hope, whenever and wherever possible.

I might also dare explore and delve into some new topics to write about, along the way… we’ll see how much courage I’ll find to actually attempt it.

Are you ready to embark on this crazy journey with me? 

Have you had any life experiences that you weren’t comfortable sharing with people? Let me know in the comments below.