Is a klutz safe from accident when stuck at home?

A clumsy person might hope that being locked indoors as we currently are, would provide a safer environment and thus make us less prone to accidents. I’d like to be the one to debunk this theory, or at the very least put a dent in it. Putting a dent in things is somewhat of a speciality after all, just ask my home furniture or worst still, my car.

Since the lockdown / self-isolation period started, I did enjoy a few weeks that were relatively free from falls and ‘serious’ injuries. I mean of course there are always the normal bumps and bruises… bumping into objects and doorways, or ankles giving-way leaving me with a very delicate battle with balance to see whether I’ll remain standing or will give a not so gentle kiss to the floor beneath me… but those happen way too often to make a fuss over. I have been extra careful when engaging with my arch nemesis… stairs. They are usually the inflictors of my worst injuries. Other than that though, one might assume that since I’m mostly at home, I would be rather safe…. that ‘misconception’ lasted for maybe a maximum of 3 weeks, at most.

The super clumsiness seems to have returned around Easter period, as if it had been in retreat planning its next major attack. I was having a few minor accidents all week, but the big one came on Easter Sunday. The evening before I had left a bottle of wine on the coffee table in the living room. We were about to leave the house and I remembered that I forgot something on the coffee table and went back to get it. I had an empty paper bag in hand and as I turned around to leave the room, I heard glass shattering. I turned back and found glass and red wine all over the floor, leather sofa, and a beige throw over. I couldn’t even understand how I knocked it over. I must have hit it with the empty bag. How does an empty bag topple a bottle of wine you might ask? Men of science are looking into it and thus far they have reached one hypothesis – clumsy magic. So let’s see… glass – everywhere, leather sofa – soaked, beige throw over potentially ruined. You know that old wives’ tale, throw white wine over a red wine stain? I promise you, it really works!! There is also the small matter of scrambling to stop Pixie from drinking the wine and getting glass in her tiny paws. So as usual in such situations, Jes had to come to the rescue, cleaning up the mess to make sure I keep away from more potential hazard with the broken glass. That’s also where teamwork comes into play. Jes handles the cleaning and I handle Pixie, to keep her away from the mess and glass.

Of course the incidents didn’t stop there. Just a couple of days later, whilst washing a few dishes in the sink, I broke a water glass, then managed to crack another one the following day… I think that was whilst putting it in or taking it out of the dishwasher. A couple of days later, again whilst clearing out my kitchen sink, my hubby put a sauce jar on the cupboard, but apparently a little too close to me. I managed to knock it off and got sauce all over our just cleaned cupboards and floor. That one almost brought me to tears.

This is not something that started recently though. As children, mum used to ask us to help with the dishes after dinner. I used to drop and break so many dishes and glasses that she was sure I used to do it on purpose. Furthermore, in the three years that we’ve been living at home, this will probably be the fifth time I’ll have to buy more glasses, because of all the breakages.

Having said all this though, I have not been the one with the worst glass related accidents in my family. In 1996, my mum had a shelf full of champagne bottles give way when she walked into the room. She ended up covered in shards of glass. I was only 9 but I still remember her covered in glass and bleeding. Luckily she didn’t suffer serious injuries. That’s a day my family will never forget. And my oh so meticulous and precise husband who’s always teasing me about my clumsiness, broke a tray-full of glasses last year, just before guests came over to our house. Of course, he still managed to find an excuse not to take blame for his clumsiness. He said that the glasses fell because apparently I placed them wrongly on the tray. How I was meant to know that there’s a wrong way and a right way of placing glasses on a tray is beyond my understanding.

My most clumsy moments at the moment seem to have kitchen connections. Trying to be a bit more experimental in the kitchen, since I’m home more, does not come easy with butter fingers and miscalculations. A couple of minor finger cuts and burns are very normal. I am trying to be more careful, or so I’d like to think, but then I have moments when I try to lift a dish that I’ve just got out of the oven with my bare fingers…. all 10 of them! That could have gone really badly. I was lucky. Maybe staying out of the kitchen and leaving that to the hubby or just ordering deliveries might be a bit safer 😛

But hey, at least I’m not falling! That’s still an achievement 😉

*I need to take more photos of my clumsy moments if I’m going to keep writing about them. The results can be quite artistic.

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