Another year around the sun…

Another year, another birthday, but what has this year had to offer? It’s been a year without blogging and around this time last year I was just getting off crutches after my Chicago fall. It’s also been 2 years since my last birthday reflection. So what has changed during this time?

Actually, before reflecting on the changes I’d like to reflect on what is still relatively the same, or could I perhaps say, ‘same but better’? I still work at Teatru Manoel, Malta’s National Theatre. This is so far the 2nd longest period I’ve had with the same entity/company. The longest record so far was with the Public Broadcasting Services Ltd. That should be broken in a few months. Over the past year and a half or so, the atmosphere at the Theatre has changed drastically for the better. My passion for theatre just keeps growing, whether it’s performing or behind the scenes. I still feel truly blessed and grateful to be working in a sector that I love so much! Needless to say this still comes with its hardships and challenges, but I do believe that the rewards outweigh them.

The injuries… The ankle injury I suffered last year is actually still giving me trouble. I’m working a lot on it to heal it through physio. As for my back, well that’s obviously never getting better, but thanks to physiotherapy the pain has become more manageable. I might write a separate update about that.

My hair… After the drastic changes last year, going from super long to a bob initially, donating it to cancer patients, and then going this vibrant red for my Chicago role, it kind of grew on me and I started feeling like it was giving me an identity, so I decided to keep it. For someone who loves change and is generally very conservative with hair and nails, it’s quite interesting that this is one thing that I decided to stick with.

The importance of family, friends and special connections… I think this has become more important than ever to me. I’ve said time and again that we were brought up to prioritise our family, and since dad’s passing, that has become even more important to me. Recent events have led to us needing to rely on and help each other out more, and although this comes with a lot of challenges, especially since my siblings are so different to me and I still find it difficult to work with them, I do feel that it helps us bond more.

My love to explore the world… For some reason or other, although I never stopped travelling, I hadn’t been to the UK in about 12 years. Over the past couple of years, I’ve made up for that a little through both work and personal trips. I’ve been to Liverpool, Leeds, Edinburgh and London, apart from a couple of trips to Sicily and Macedonia. There are so many places that I still want to explore however. I think the list just keeps increasing rather than decreasing. I’m hoping to have some interesting updates on this front later this year.

The clumsiness… this is something that definitely didn’t change. A couple of people tried to tell me that it’s a mind-over-matter thing. They cannot understand how bad it can get unless they see me in action. The mind does play a part in it because I’ve noticed that I get clumsier if I’m stressed, nervous, or lacking sleep, for example, but I accepted long ago that this is one of my quirky characteristics. One of my most recent falls happened as I was arriving at a party, a couple of weeks ago. I placed my foot badly, lost my balance, slightly sprained my right ankle, and fell on my left knee, tearing my jeans in the process. So I ended up spending the whole party in torn jeans. Naturally, I didn’t let that stop me from dancing the night away.

My love for the stage… I haven’t had many performing opportunities this year which I have to say kills my soul a little, but I’m continuing my regular vocal training and advancing my voice and music studies. I’m still dying to get back into rehearsals and even more so get back on stage.

My love for writing… Although I haven’t blogged in a year, my passion for writing is still very strong. I do feel that I went through a bit of a dry spell, and I think there were several reasons for that, but I never fully stopped writing. I’ve definitely been investing my time in journaling, which I find to be very therapeutic, so I do tend to prioritise it over blogging. Having said that, I always feel that I need to write more, and I’m hoping to make more of a habit out of it.

Here are a few things that have definitely been changing quite a bit. Not necessarily overnight, but over the past few years.

Getting an apartment… Over the past year I once again became a homeowner and I’ve spent the last year finishing my apartment and turning it into a home. It is not 100% complete yet, but I’m getting closer. Hopefully, the big move-in will come soon!

Sensitivity to sound… I’m not sure whether this ‘issue’ was always there and I’ve simply become more aware of it, or whether it’s something that developed over time (… I’m getting old!) I am struggling to handle noisy environments. Clubs, especially if they’re playing music I don’t like, have become very difficult to bear, but I’ve been noticing that even being in a room with a lot of people talking at once is becoming unbearable. On the suggestion of a therapist, I have invested in Loop earplugs and although I was very sceptical about them, they are making quite a difference. I’m finding them particularly helpful when I’m working on tasks that require more concentration.

Losing the party girl spirit… I think this is partly related to the sound sensitivity, but also due to the fact that I don’t like modern music that’s played in clubs. I can still be the heart and soul of the party, dancing the night away as I once used to, when the right music is played. It’s actually pretty impossible to keep me sitting still if a good song is on, but I’m finding modern club music incredibly frustrating, and it’s ruining a night out for me. People’s attitudes are also difficult to handle at times.

Birthday celebrations this year… this is the first year since dad’s passing, that I’ve felt relatively OK to actually celebrate my birthday. I’m still not comfortable with the idea of a party, but I had and am still having a few meetups with people who are incredibly special to me, and whose company I really enjoy. This actually turned out to be even better than one party because I ended up having a whole week of celebrations, with each moment being special because I had beautiful and honest connections with the people I was with. The only disappointment is that both my siblings happen to be out of the country for reasons beyond our control, and I couldn’t organise a family celebration. Hopefully, we’ll set something up when they’re back.

So that’s it I guess. Another season of this Soap Opera of my life has come to an end. Yes, I am being dramatic, but there are so many dramatic moments that occur that make it feel a bit like a soap opera every now and then! Keep tuning in to this blog. Let’s see what the next season has to offer 😉